Before a dog gets adopted, they’ve likely gone through a crazy journey. They’ve been bounced around from living on the street or in a puppy mill, in a shelter or a foster home, and finally to your home.
These dogs need time to decompress and adjust to their new home, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Some dogs need a few days, and some need several months to settle into their new home.
We find that there are three common phases most rescue dogs go through after adoption… that is where the 3-3-3 rule comes in.
What is the 3-3-3 rule when adopting a dog?
The 3-3-3 rule is a general guideline that represents the phases of a rescue dog or common milestones your new dog will go through… it is the first 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months after bringing your dog home from the shelter.
The 3-3-3 rule is sometimes called the “rescue dog honeymoon period”.
If you’ve ever started a new job or moved to a new school, you know the feeling of being in an unfamiliar place, new surroundings, new people, new rules. This is how your dog feels as they adjust to their new home.
The 3 Phases of a Rescue Dog
Before you read the details of the 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months of the 3-3-3 rule of dogs, please keep in mind that this is a guideline. The time your dog needs to adjust is as unique as they are.
In the first few days,
your dog may feel overwhelmed and nervous. They might not eat or drink much and could be scared or unsure about their new environment.
Due to the stress potty accidents may occur. During this time, they might hide or be very cautious around you and your family. Alternatively, they might test boundaries to see what they can get away with, similar to a teenager.
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Maybe scared and unsure of what is going on
- Not comfortable enough to be “themself”
- May not want to eat or drink
- Shut down and want to curl up in his crate or hide under a table
- Testing the boundaries
After few weeks,
your dog will typically start to settle in, feeling a little more comfortable and beginning to understand their new routine. They may start to show their true personality and begin to trust you more.
- Starting to settle in
- Feeling more comfortable
- Realizing this could possibly be their forever home
- Figured out their environment
- Getting into a routine
- Let their guard down and may start showing their true personality
- Behavior issues may start showing up
After few months,
Your dog may start to trust you and feel secure in their new home. They may begin to settle into a routine and become comfortable with their environment. This period is when you will see your dog’s true personality and begin to build a deeper bond.
- Finally completely comfortable in his home.
- Building trust and a true bond
- Gained a complete sense of security with his new family
- Set in a routine
Adjusting to the Timeline
Remember, these timelines are general guidelines. Every dog is unique, and some may take longer to adjust. It’s important to be patient and not rush the process.
If your dog takes 6, 8, or even 12 months to fully adjust, that’s completely normal. The key is to provide a consistent, loving environment and celebrate the small victories along the way.
Your understanding and support during these phases are crucial in helping your rescue dog feel at home and begin to thrive.
Enjoy your newly adopted dog, give them love, support, and time and they will soon become your best friend!
How long will it take MY rescue dog to adjust?
The honest answer is, it depends. Some dogs will follow the 3-3-3 rule to a tee, others will take 6 months or a full year to feel completely comfortable.
Keep in mind that the 3-3-3 dog rule is a general guideline. It will depend on the situation the dog was surrendered, the dog’s personality, and their background.
Give your dog space and allow them to go at their own pace during this honeymoon period. You will look back someday and be amazed at the transformation.
In conclusion
The first thing most people want to do is show off their new pup. But I encourage you to take it slow, I know it’s exciting to get a new dog but see life through your dog’s eyes…
They have been through a lot, they may have lost their family, possibly been abused, or abandoned in a noisy shelter, … it’s all very stressful. Your dog needs time, so give it to them.
Remember the 3-3-3 dog rule is a general guideline. Your dog will go at their own pace during this “honeymoon period”, it could take 4, 5, or maybe even 6 months.
Each dog is unique. Just be there for them, comfort them when they need it, and create a positive safe environment and you will be on your way to creating your perfect dog..
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I really enjoy your website! Most recently, I read about the 3-3-3 rule & it reminded me of the 4 dogs we have rescued over the years. One of them took much longer to adjust, but she had been abandoned rather traumatically, so I’m sure that contributed. An animal behaviorist we called in said she showed signs of not being socialized with people or other dogs, but with training she overcame much of that challenge. Fortunately, she’s just an awesome, happy dog now. Our newest rescue from 6 months ago never had a big settling in period. He just moved in & figured it out right away, much like our very first rescue from 20 years ago. Apparently we are this latest dog’s 2nd or 3rd home, so I would think that affected his evolution. He, too is just a wonderful animal & we have no idea how anyone could have let him go. So many variables at play with their behaviors but rescued dogs are the best dogs in my book. Thank you for sharing your expertise & inspiration with all of us dog lovers!
We have just adopted a 18 month old , short haired GSD. We are only on day 6 and he can be quite dominating but we are being consistent and firm with him. The rescue center mentioned your 3 3 3 rule and it gives me reassurance that eventually it will be ok .
Consistency and boundaries are important. But don’t forget to have fun with him, make him feel comfortable.
I’m so very sorry to see you refer to being “a strong pack leader.” That myth has long been debunked by research into the dynamics of dog societal groups as well as canine cognition and learning theory. The researcher who introduced the concept after studying unrelated captive wolves in captivity has even retracted his initial extrapolations to companion dogs. In fact, he says they don’t even apply to wolves in the wild. Please consider removing that phrase from your materials.
Please read What Does It Mean to Be a Pack Leader for Your Dog?
My wife and I just brought home our rescue! He is awesome! You are spot on with your advice! It’s only been three days but he has settled in nicely and is pretty much setting in. A real lap lover which we both wanted. Can’t wait to see the next three weeks, months years! Thanks!
Congrats on your new adoption.
Hi Kurt,
Can I ask how your dog is doing now? I was reading about “honeymoon phases” and was quite worried as we just adopted our rescue 3 days back!
Hi there – we have now had out pup for 3 weeks and your 3-3-3 has really put our mind at ease! She’s still pretty scared around us but will explore when we are out of the room. She won’t yet come out of her crate without us removing her (she’s an almost 2 year old whoodle) and won’t walk on a leash yet (we carry her outside to use the restroom). Any suggestions?
So we are not the only ones. We brought a rescue home on Sunday who won’t leave her “spot” even to eat until we are in another part of the house. We have to carry her outside but she is terrified when we do and rubs back in as soon as she can’t. She’s peeing and pooping on training pads at night. She is not a small dog so I’m feeling totally overwhelmed. This is our first dog
Trust me, you aren’t alone. Your dog is stressed out. Give her the space and time and you will be amazed at the transformation in a few weeks and months.
Hi Maxine,
We did lots of dog sitting for friends after our own dog had passed. Once we got a beautiful senior black shepherd lady. She was very sad for a few days and missed her owners. She did not leave her spot by the window. We stayed close enough for her to know she was not alone, but we did give her time to come out when she felt ok to do so. After a few days she was par of the family. I feel the best thing we did was to not overwhelm her and wait. Be patient 🙂 Good luck.
Mariela
We just adopted a 9 year old Chi/Terrier mix. He does have a lot of down time but barks at people that walk in front of our house, at other dogs, pulls when we walk him. When he starts barking he gets really worked up and it takes sometime for him to calm down. He also is going through some anxiety issues. I really want to help this little guy. We found out the hard way he definitely does not like anything going over his head. So I am waiting on the open collar harness. We do have another dog. They seem to respect each other and we have not had any issues on that end. I just know when the new dog gets anxious I feel myself getting anxious. Not sure how to handle this little guy.
Maria, we just rescued a 7 yr old Chi mix our first dog and she snipped at my sons face and I was taken aback. I think it was just overwhelming as we only had her a few hours. How is yours doing? She is very attached to me and I don’t want my son to be worried she will bite him.
We rescued a pug- well technically a jug and she’s 4. She’s only been here a few days and she is peeing all over the room we have her in (sunporch) . She goes out every 15 mins because I thought she has to go she squats about five times and pees outside then comes in a pees some more – right in front of me! I don’t yell but re direct her back outside but I’m at my wits end. She was at the vet the day we got her so waiting on test results. Also our resident dog is afraid to come into the house, they haven’t met yet but she knows she’s here. Ugh I’m feeling as though I made a big mistake
Time and patiences my friend. I know it seems hard right now, but look at it through from dogs perspective. She has been through so much and thrown into a new family and has no idea what is going on. Give her time and you will be amazed at the transformation. Constrict her freedom until the potty training is successful. Try a crate instead of an entire room. If you aren’t part of our Facebook community, I recommend joining. It’s full of others in your exact situation.
Thank you Debi for sharing your wealth of information to everyone! We have found your 3-3-3 rule to be very helpful and intend to continue sharing this information with every one of our adopters going forward
You are very welcome. So glad you are able to share!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I have been searching for tips on helping our rescue pup to stop barking at my husband. We have had her for 3 months now and have tried everything. She runs from my husband and barks at him constantly. He has done nothing wrong and we have another dog who loves him to death. This has caused a stressful environment in our home, because he wants to get rid of the dog. He has given up and tired of her barking at him. I get it, I’m tired of it too, but I love her and so do the kids and our other dog. I’m desperate for help. We had planned to get her a trainer but they are closed because of Covid -19. Do you have any tips?
Thank you
Dana I feel for you and your husband. I recommend joining our Facebook community and asking this question there. Many others have been in the similar situations. Has your husband taken her for a walk? Does he feed her, spend any quality time with her? Some does are afraid of men simply because they are louder and bigger. Facial hair and hats all can seem intimidating. Have your husband spend some quiet time on the floor with her, take her for walks, etc. And hopefully in time they will start to bond and she will stop barking.
Thank you. Yes he has tried to take her for a walk, etc. but she won’t move. She just tries to get away from him. He takes off his hat as soon as he comes through the door. I’ll join the community and ask. Thank you
Omg! Dana! I’m reading your comment, and it’s like I’ve written it myself. We have exactly the same situation. 5 weeks ago adopted a 6 months pup. He has settled in nicely with myself and my 2 daughters but with the husband there’s no progress- the dog is so afraid of him, always tries to run away, and barks at him. I was hoping that in time this will change…
We rescued a 7 year old Whippet mix, Doberman and Chihuahua. We have had him for about two in half weeks now. He’s been to the Veterinery, had a full checkup, had to have four teeth pulled. He’s a great dog, the only problem is, we live on the water and he barks at boats, JetSki, Paddleboard, and kayaks. He does not understand what they are, if he is outside, he wants to run after them. He is uncontrollable, he found a little ledge on the wall, put his front paw on it and was gone. Thank God he could not get out of the next yard, after a lot of barking he came back the same way he left. I’m so afraid he will jump the Four foot fence and land on the rocks below. How do I help him? He gets so upset in the house running from glass door to glass door.
Toni
Oh boy, Thank God he came back! You need to work on Counter conditioning and desensitization. I don’t have an article on this blog but if you google it you will find lots of resources. It will take time and a lot of patiences but it will be well worth the effort. Good luck!