I want to start out by saying, I will never judge anyone for having to rehome a dog. If you are here because you are wondering if you should rehome your dog, please feel comfortable knowing you are in the right place.
Sh** happens. Life changes, people get new jobs, get sick, pass away, dogs develop health or behavior issues. When adopting a rescue dog there are never guarantees. Heck, life is never a guarantee!
This site has loads of helpful information that could help you through some health and behavior issues. If there is anything I can do to help you through this hard time, please feel free to contact me.
Rehoming a Dog Guilt
If you are unsure if rehoming your dog is the right choice, you may be feeling guilty that you cannot take care of her anymore. Or that you made a bad decision on adopting him in the first place. I can’t take away that guilt, but you can help yourself and the dog by doing some research before giving your dog away.
As hard as it may be to understand from the perspective of an outsider, sometimes a situation arises when you need to rehome your dog. As a volunteer for a local rescue, I see owner surrendered dogs all of the time.
In fact, our very first foster dog was a 10-year-old black lab, Silla, that was surrendered by her family. I admit I was confused as to why anyone would let such a sweet lab go. I didn’t know the family, but I do know they didn’t make the choice to rehome their dog lightly.
From what I do know, they lived on a farm and adopted two new herding breed dogs. The two new dogs did not get along with Silla and fights broke out. They felt that giving Silla a quiet home to retire in was in her best interest. Again, I am not here to judge. Did they feel guilty? I’m not sure, but I can only imagine how difficult that decision was for them.
Rehoming a Dog Tips
So, let’s start by ensuring you are making the right decision to rehome your dog. Why have you decided you need to give your dog away?
Rehoming a Dog Because of Life Circumstances:
- I have become too sick to take care of my dog.
If your situation is temporary, can you find a friend or family member to help by taking your dog in for a few months until you get back on your feet? - I can no longer afford my dog because of job loss.
Same as above, see if someone will help you and your dog out until you find a new job. - I am moving to an apartment that does not allow dogs.
Find an apartment that does allow dogs. I’m sorry but this is one that you do have control over. I know sometimes it can be hard, but there are plenty of landlords that do allow dogs. - We just realized my child is allergic to dogs.
Are you certain it is the dog your kids are allergic too? Have you tried bathing your dog? Brushing him more often? Keeping the dog out of the areas your child sleeps and plays? - We just had a new baby and no longer have time for a dog.
A baby may keep you busy, but it has been proven that kids who grow up with a dog are healthier. Children that grow up with a dog learn responsibility and compassion for animals. You will make time for both baby and dog. Many activities you can do with your dog and child… go for walks or play ball in the backyard together. - I cannot afford my dogs health care, because of an illness or injury.
Talk to your vet about payment options or look into Care Credit. I understand the thought of spending hundreds or thousands on your dog is daunting… trust me I do, I’ve been there. And sometimes we have to make tough decisions, but there are options out there, you just need to find them. - I got a new job and no longer have time for a dog.
Consider doggy-daycare or a dog walker. You did make a commitment to your dog when you first adopted him. Do your best to make it work.
Rehoming a Dog Because of Behavior Issues:
- My dog has bitten a child.
I understand it is really scary if your rescue dog has bitten your child. This should never be taken lightly. But please look at the situation with a clear mind. Read Why Do Family Dogs Bite and make your decision from there. - My dog has bitten another dog.
If you adopted a new dog and he isn’t getting along with your other dog, then take a few steps back and start over. Read The Best Way to Introduce a Second Dog and see if you can fix the relationship. - My dog has severe separation anxiety and has destroyed our house.
What have you tried to help your dog with his anxiety? Please read Solutions for Separation Anxiety to see if there are steps you can take before giving up on him. - I just adopted this dog and he isn’t what I expected.
How long have you had the dog? Have you given her enough time to adjust? Did you know that it could take up to 3 months for a rescue dog to feel completely comfortable in her new home? If you are certain you adopted the wrong dog, talk the rescue or shelter you got the dog from. Many times, they will take the dog back if it just isn’t a good fit.
An important note about rehoming a dog that has bitten a child or dog. Please disclose this information before giving your dog away. No matter how desperate you are, do not allow another child to be bitten. Do you really want another family to go through what you have?
Where Can I Give My Dog Away
If you are certain rehoming your dog is the right decision, where and how should you give your dog away?
No matter which option you choose, it’s important to be honest about all your dog’s issues and health concerns. Finding someone that is prepared to take care of all of your dog’s quirks, big or small, is important… or else he will just end up being returned to you or worse, euthanized.
Option 1: Contact the Rescue You Originally Adopted Your Dog From
If you adopted your dog from a shelter or rescue, start by asking them about taking the dog back. The rescue I volunteer for actually requires their adopters to surrender the dog back to them if needed at any time.
Some rescues will even post your dog on their website and let you keep him until you find a good home.
Option 2: Turn to Friends and Family for Help
I recommend you start by asking friends and family, even co-workers if they would be willing to take in your dog. This way you know the dog will be well taken care of.
Option 3: Post on Social Media
Posting a photo and your dog’s story on Facebook could be a great way to get the word out he needs a new home. I understand you may be afraid of being judged by your peers, but you’d be surprised how fast you could rehome a dog using social media.
Option 4: Ask Your Veterinarian
Your vet may have adoption resources you could turn to, or maybe even know someone looking to adopt a new dog.
Option 5: Rehoming a Dog on Adopt-a-Pet Website
Adopt-a-Pet is a well-known online adoption website, and they have a rehoming listing service too! Adopt a pet makes it easy to list by simply filling out the form online and uploading pictures. Rehome at Adopt-a-Pet also has a ton of resources for you to try and keep your dog!
Option 6: Rehoming a Dog on Craigslist
I love Craigslist, I use it to buy and sell everything from toys to furniture. But when it comes to dogs, it can be sketchy. Some very bad people lurk on the social selling site.
Let’s face it, we’ve all heard the horror stories of people getting scammed out of their houses, kidnapped or shot over a computer. And dogs being bought for reasons I’d rather not think of… bad reasons… for fighting and bait dogs.
There are also stories of puppy mills posting on Craigslist, so again, please do your research before buying or selling on this platform.
Now that I scared you, I have to admit something… we adopted our yellow lab Bear from Craigslist. Yup, that’s right we adopted an 18-month-old pure breed English Yellow Lab on Craigslist! We got lucky, the family rehoming him got lucky.
Bear grew much larger than the family thought he would… at a whopping 97 lbs, he was too big to live in a small trailer home with no yard. Plus, Bears’ previous owner was aging, had bad knees and couldn’t walk him. He was bursting at the seams with built up energy and was not a happy dog.
She realized this and came to the difficult conclusion that they needed to rehome Bear. She cried as we packed Bear’s belongings into our car, so I knew she cared very much for him and I am sure she felt guilty for letting him go.
A happy ending can happen, but you need to do your homework. Ask a lot of questions and meet the family before agreeing they can adopt your dog. Ask for a rehoming fee to ensure the new family is serious.
Option 7: Contact Your Local Humane Society or Shelter
I’d say this should be your last resort. Dogs become very stressed when dropped off at a shelter. A shelter can be a scary place for any animal. And you have no idea how long he could end up staying there.
Call ahead and find out the shelters process of surrendering a dog. DO NOT just drop a dog off at the back door! Please no matter how desperate you are, this is not the right way to handle rehoming a dog.
The more information the shelter has about your dog before rehoming, the less stress for the dog, and the better chance he has for being readopted.
Please make sure you find a no-kill shelter. Unless your dog is truly aggressive, and you’ve tried everything… does he really deserve to be euthanized?
Over to you… please share your story in the comments below. I created the Rescue Dogs 101 community so we can support each other in times of need. It could help someone else in the same situation. You may be feeling alone right now, having to rehome your dog is not an easy decision, but please take comfort in knowing you are not alone! I am here for you.
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Hi,
I have 2 English staff's. They are both very loving dogs to us and have never showed any aggression towards humans.
The younger one has never been good with other dogs and is almost impossible to take for walks because of his aggression towards other dogs. Due to this issue we found help and had a dog trainer help us 2,5 years ago and it made a huge difference. Although he still can't handle other dogs they improved a lot.
We moved to our new house 2 years ago and my two dogs started getting into really bad fights since then. Still not sure if it has anything to do with moving or not but their fights only got worse after that. We have tried everything and tried to avoid all possible triggers but sometimes the fights still occurred, just not often so I kind of brushed it off and moved on after.
I'm now 8 months pregnant and my younger dog has shown a weird behaviour where he avoids me and doesn't really want to be patted. he stays curled up really tense and a few times has even growled when I go to pat him. I'm unsure if this is because of me trying to pat him or because of our other dog lying next to him.
We think we need to rehome him as I can't imagine coping with taking care of them both together with a newborn and always worry about them getting into really bad fights. I have like I said brushed it off for the last 2 years as separating them have felt too hard but now when having a baby I feel I have to put baby first and do something about it. Also he is very obsessed with food and that would be a big trigger having a baby/toddler with food and I just don't think it would be safe having the dogs together around her.
Although they have never directly shown agression towards people she would definitely be in danger since they would most likely start a fight near her for different reasons.
He is like my first baby and I just feel so guilty but from what we have been told, my dogs fights are too much and they need to be seperated and it would be so much stress for me and put our baby in danger.
He is just so loving and wonderful with us and my female dog is the one often starting the fights so I feel so broken having to choose one. She is the older one and has never shown aggression towards other dogs when walking but she does start most fights between them and get really tense randomly and follows my younger dog around and when a fights happens she will afterwards lick him everywhere for ages while he sits with his head down.
I'm just sharing my story as it feels better to write it out but also hoping to hear weather our choice to seperate them is the right one and perhaps help my guilt a little.
100% need to put your family first. I can’t tell you which to choose or what the best route to take. Maybe having a trainer come to your home and assess both dogs. Sometimes it’s the quiet ones that are starting the trouble. Don’t feel guilty, again family first.
I’m struggling with the idea of rejoining my dog. He comes from a neglect case and the only dogs he had contact with in the beginning of his life bullied him. This caused him to have fear aggression. I have put him through extensive training, and he is on anxiety meds. We take him for multiple walks a day as well as an hour or two of play in the backyard a day. I get him toys to use his brain and a wobble bowl for feeding. He is about 10 months, so still young. He loves people. I have two cats that he will not leave alone. He has lunged multiple times and even pinned them against the wall. As far as fear aggression with dogs, I think he has reverted. He did so well after his week long board and train program and I did everything the trainer asked of me. Any time he sees another dog, he freaks out to the point of sometimes screaming. I think it’s more excitement tan aggression, but I can’t be sure. I cannot pick up my cats without him freaking out as well. I am in college and my parents both work full time. They are helping me out a lot and look after him for me when I can’t be there due to a current housing situation. My mom is under stress from outside sources as well as my dog. My dog cannot be in the same room at times with the cat and when he is, we cannot find his trigger, he will leap into action. As much as I hate to say it, I think it may be best for all of us to re-home him. I’ve spent so much money on training and if I keep going down this path, I will be even more broke than I am currently. I want what is best for everyone. I can’t help but feel guilty and heartbroken thinking about giving him up.
I feel this is a no judgement forum so I will put this out there for any advice. I am 65 and have had dogs all my life. One year ago I was asked if I would take in a mini Aussie Shepard that was living in an apt and the owner needed to rehome. I was looking for a new dog for my adult son so I said I would meet him. They came with all of his belongings and left him. Within a day my son was bitten. I had a trainer for anxiety aggression for six months. He attacks me (not a nip nor a quick bite and let go) an average of once a month. Not sure of the trigger but I think it has to do with his collar and leash. My son steers clear of him. We don’t walk him in our neighborhood. Luckily I have an acre in the back he can run and play in. He sleeps with me and can’t wait until I wake up to cuddle and get pet. He follows me like a shadow and never leaves my side. But how many times should I get attacked before I say no more. I’m currently on antibiotics due to a few bites to my hand a couple days ago and now it just happened again and I have my arm wrapped from wrist to elbow and wearing an ice pack. I have one more trainer coming Friday but as much as I love this dog I am now afraid of him.
Most people would have said enough after the first bite. To be honest, I don’t think I would have kept the dog this long. But you obviously have more patients than I do 🙂 I would start by not allowing the dog to sleep in your bed, this is a privilege he needs to earn. Learn the dogs body language, most dogs will give “calming signals” or warning signs. He may be past this point, but it is good info to know. Read How to speak to dogs. Hopefully the new trainer can assess the situation and help you both.
Hi that was very interesting and informative. Thank you.
So, my Mother and I both got our Border Terrier pups 9 years ago! Brothers, living in two separate households. When they were two my Mothers future husband moved in with her and he became ill due to allergies so Sonny the dog had to go! My mother was devastated. Sonny stayed in the family but abroad, with my brother.
My brothers situation has now changed and Sonny is alone all day. He has kids now and Sonny is bottom of the pile as my brother puts it. Sonny still has a great connection with his brother (my dog) and his human family in England. My question is, would it be a bad idea to move Sonny back to England, given that he has already been through the trauma of leaving his first home when he was two? Sonny would be very happy here with me, in theory. He would have a garden, countryside, his brother and my mum who adores him. Just a better quality of life but he would miss his family !! So difficult. Any advice kindly received.
Kind regards
Sue
Dogs are very resilient. And especially since he has a connection with you already the transition should be, for the most part, smooth. Obviously he will miss his family, but he will adjust to his new family with you. I think it’s great that you can all help each other out in the time of need. Sonny is lucky he has so many people to love him.
Approx. 3 months ago, we got our 1,5 year old rescue GST-mix. We were aware that he does not get along with other dogs (barking, lunging), so we train hard on our walks to improve this behavior and we could see a bit of a progress.
However, he developed strong aggresivity (barking, lunging) towards our neighbors or anybody coming in our flat. We first thought we can control it and train to reduce this behavior (introducing people outside of the flat, which worked first but not anymore), but recently he has bitten one of our visitor. The trainer we are in contact with told us that it is everything fine, it is just all new for him and he is in puberty. But from week to week it is getting worse.
Last weekend we had friends visiting, so we introduced him in the street as we done before and it always worked very well, but he totally snapped at my female friend. At the end we were able to calm him down and he accepted them staying at our place but were super-alert the whole time and could not relax for even a second.
When we were adopting to question when would we consider to re-home the dog (sounds absolutely horrible and I am in tears just writing it) we answered – aggressivity towards people. That was the one thing as the first time owners we were pretty sure we cannot cope with. We are completely scared to get out of our flat, we cannot have anybody to come to us and our anxiety level is completely out of the rooftop.
At this point we are considering if we are appropriate owners to him since our current stress level must make it worse also for him. Additionally, our landlord has already contacted us because our neighbors are scared to get out of their flats (and I totally understand them) and if we do not find quick fix we will loose our flat.
Thank you for any piece of advice!
I’m shocked the trainer said everything is fine. NO! It’s not fine that any dog acts in this manner. Yes all dogs need to decompress and learn after adoption. But aggression, even fear agression must be handled immediately and appropriately. So if you do decide to keep the dog I recommend finding a different trainer. With that said, as first time dog owners, it may be too much for you and of course you don’t want to use your home. I would go back to the shelter you adopted him from and ask if they have any resources to help you. Or if they would be willing to take the dog back and find a more suitable home for him. For first time dog owners, I highly suggest adopting an “easy” dog, of course all dogs will have issues, but fear aggression is a tough one.
Hi Denisa,
My husband and I are in a very similar situation to you. We're at a loss at what to do and have lost trust in our beloved dog. We have so much fear of him biting anyone else, especially one of our little nieces who do love him to bits. He is good with our nieces and not aggressive, but he has proven to be unpredictable with his bites. It is near impossible for us to have our friends in the house despite our best efforts. We hope to have children in the next few years and are trying to come to terms with the reality that the combination may not be possible… We all live in a constant state of management and even though we try our best every day, he is very reactive to people coming too close to the house and things like the sound of delivery trucks going to our neighbours houses. Even leaving the back door open for him to filter inside and outside leaves us in a state of stressful anticipation sometimes… While he has improved and we have routines in place, trying to calm him has possible dangers or us and makes the calming and redirecting process harder.
He is a very sweet, loving, and hilarious dog who brings us so much joy. He also brings us stress, anxiety and fear an is still dangerous at times… we will not be able to live with ourselves if anything happens to someone. We have had him for 1 year and are exhausted from juggling work, uni and his behaviour. His behaviour was undisclosed when we adopted him but we couldn't bear re-homing him then and wanted to fight for him to have a better life. His life is so much better but we still realistically cannot give him all he needs…
Our family think it's a terrible idea to rehome him because they love him dearly and don't want a hole to be left in our hearts. My sister blames herself because she was the last person he was aggressive to.
You don't have to share, but I am wondering how you are going with making your decision and if you have any advice for us. If not, that's okay! Finding this forum has been a real comfort to me in this process.
When we bought our Aussie-Husky dog she was the only “child.” The center of our attention. Pampered beyond measure! We had to move to my in laws house, and they had 3 unfriendly dogs and the time, plus I had a baby – so unfortunately we re-homed her to my parents, who took great care of her. She had a big backyard to roam in! She was so happy.
We have had her back for 3/4 years and ever since, she has been miserable in our apartments – plus I’ve had another child. We don’t live near good paths or dog parks, she’s just become really hard to take care of on top of 2 toddlers in this tiny apartment we live in.
Now that I’m pregnant with baby 3 I’m so torn. We’ve done everything to keep her – we have gone from being really good at it to sucking at it, back and forth. She’s going to be 7 years old this year, and we got her as a puppy. She’s our family.
I just feel like another family with an actual house and backyard would be so much better for her. Of course I hope that will be the case for us someday – but with baby 3 on the way I just don’t know.
We have thought about asking a friend to home her for a while like my parents did. My parents are completely unwilling to do it again. My sister also lives in an apartment and just got a kitten or she would offer.
Congrats on baby number 3! I find writing down the pros/cons helps clarify a decision when I am torn. There is never a right or wrong decision. Just do what you feel is best for the dog. What will make her happy?
Hi Debbie,
I’m at a crossroad with my dog. I need to decide to rehome my dog is the best thing. And I’m struggling. The article stated I could get in touch with you to talk to you directly.
Feel free to email me.
I own a three year old lab mix. I have her since she was three months old. I have been training her the best I could since then and we were actually improving. The thing that I wasn't doing properly was walking her. I would take her somewhere she could run and play with other dogs, but in the meantime she would pull her leash. I was trying with trainers only to discover that I was the one making her nervous. The moment I gave the trainer the leash she would walk calmly.
The thing is a few months ago the situation at my home became stressfull for me on top of me dealing with anxiety (for which I have been taking therapy for a while now). So I've been considering the idea of giving my dog to a family that can give her the discipline and guidance she needs. I love her so much and she is so sweet, but I don't think I can keep fullfiling her needs anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I can do it but others it makes me anxious even the idea of going out alone.
Still I keep feeling guilty and not so sure about seriously searching for someone to adopt her but in the back of my mind… that would be better for her
Dani you need to do what is best for your health and it sounds like taking proper care for your dog is causing even more anxiety for you. I don’t know what the right answer is for you, but keep in mind of what is best for you both. Maybe you can find a home that would allow you to still visit her?
I wanted to get some opinions and thoughts. My family and I have a 6 year old female Golden Retriever. We have had her since she was 7 weeks old. She is a loving and sweet dog but she is very skittish and anxious a lot of the time. In the past she has attacked my sisters cats. She has obvious food aggression but she is also very unpredictable in her behavior. We feed her away from everyone, we don’t give her bones unless we are watching her closely and we never leave food out for her to be territorial over. So when the cats were attacked it would always be very random. Most of the time she is fine with them, she will let them lay around her or she will sniff them and lick them, then just walk away. I feel like if her behavior was linked to one main thing like the food, it would be more easily controlled.
A couple weeks ago we got a Great Dane puppy. Before we got her, it was made known by many family members that we don’t think our Golden Retriever should share a home with another dog because of her unpredictability. Despite our concerns one of our family members brought the puppy home. We made sure to introduce them in an unfamiliar place (so there was no territorial aggression), and we slowly went on a couple walks with the both of them. Our Golden didn’t seem to care much about her, she would just kinda ignore her and leave her alone. They did really good for a couple weeks. Our Golden would give the puppy proper corrections and the puppy was receptive to them. Small growls, teeth showing and such were what we allowed because we associated that with a natural dog correction. They played really well together outside and would run around constantly. We never fed them anywhere near each other either.
Fast forward to Thursday morning. I woke up early to and let them both out and they did perfectly fine together outside. I brought them both back inside, the walked into the living room with each other and our Golden just attacked the puppy. A full brawl and scuffle. The puppy was ok but very traumatized and scared. There was no food or toys around to provoke this and they had been doing great on being in common spaces close to each other. I told my whole family about the incident and told them to keep a close eye on them.
The next evening (Friday evening), my sister was eating something at the counter and both dogs were near her feet. She didn’t drop an actual piece of food but more like a tiny crumb. The puppy went to lick it and our Golden attacked her. I was in the shower on the other side of the house and I could hear it all. There was blood everywhere and come to find out, our Golden had bit/ripped the puppies tongue right dont the middle. Almost like a snakes tongue is. We quickly took her to the emergency vet (as this was 11pm). They quickly did surgery because she was losing so much blood and sewed her tongue back together. After this happened we have all been stressed, anxious and nervous. We can’t relax in our home because we are so worried our Golden might do something again. We have been keeping her separated from the puppy completely. Leaving her in someone’s room or outside. It makes me sad for her to have to be so isolated and that’s not what I want for her at all.
A friend of ours that we’ve known for a long time found out about what happened and mentioned that he would be interested in keeping her. He lives in a house with a roommate and there are no other pets in the house at all. He is a very active person and has wanted a golden retriever forever but has only just recently been able to start looking into getting one. Considering this is a friend, we would be able to see her and be around her sometimes. I think this would be the best thing for her and for my family considering how isolated she is and how distrusting we are of her around other animals. I’m hoping someone can reassure me and also help me figure out what to say to the one family member that does not want to rehome her.
The way I see it you have three choices. 1. Keep both dogs and forever keep them separate. 2. Return the puppy to the breeder. And keep your golden, or 3. give the golden to your friend. Which one you choose it up to you, none are right or wrong. But it’s obvious they both can not live together peacefully. We have three dogs right now. One that is resource aggressive (Ginger), we chose to keep her separated from our third dog. I will admit, it’s not the best situation and it is difficult to watch Ginger be excluded in certain family actives. But then again, she prefers to be by herself most of the time. Anyway, if your friend is willing to take your Golden in and understands her situation, then it could be a win-win for everyone involved.
I had a Pomeranian poodle mix, that I loved but with having to work two 12 hour shifts during the weekend and the dog and my kids have to go to my parents becuase I’m single and i recently got news that I got back into my nursing program to finish and get my rn I decided maybe the puppy needed a better home. My parents have been giving me a hard time about watching the dog for over a month now because one night at their house he barked all night. He was crated every weekend and I just logically thought that it isn’t fair to him and what’s to come when school starts back up. I’ve been rather picky on who I rehome him to and he went to a really good home, a retired couple that have an amazing fenced in backyard. Now that I’ve rehomed him I feel like absolute crap thinking that I made the wrong choice and I acted on being upset with how my parents have been treating me and him not physically but verbally. My son has been so upset over the fact I got rid of our dog. But regarding the circumstances I felt it was in the best interest of the dog, and now I am second guessing the fact that I rehomed him. Especially after my step dad mentioned that, his dogs kept up my mom the other day and to now realize that my puppy wasn’t the issue but their dogs were and that they were just taking their frustration out on me and my dog. I want my dog back, but what even is the etiquette for asking for your pet back when you’ve realized you’ve gave him away because your upset about the situation. My heart wants to go get him back but my brain is telling me the puppy is better off with his new home. Any advice I’d appreciated. Thank you.
I’m so sorry you are going through this Becky. I don’t think it would be ethical to ask for your puppy back, think about how it would upset the new family. Honestly, I think you made the right choice. It was your dog, not your parents. Let you kids know that once life settles down and the time is right, you will adopt another dog.