I want to start out by saying, I will never judge anyone for having to rehome a dog. If you are here because you are wondering if you should rehome your dog, please feel comfortable knowing you are in the right place.
Sh** happens. Life changes, people get new jobs, get sick, pass away, dogs develop health or behavior issues. When adopting a rescue dog there are never guarantees. Heck, life is never a guarantee!
This site has loads of helpful information that could help you through some health and behavior issues. If there is anything I can do to help you through this hard time, please feel free to contact me.
Rehoming a Dog Guilt
If you are unsure if rehoming your dog is the right choice, you may be feeling guilty that you cannot take care of her anymore. Or that you made a bad decision on adopting him in the first place. I can’t take away that guilt, but you can help yourself and the dog by doing some research before giving your dog away.
As hard as it may be to understand from the perspective of an outsider, sometimes a situation arises when you need to rehome your dog. As a volunteer for a local rescue, I see owner surrendered dogs all of the time.
In fact, our very first foster dog was a 10-year-old black lab, Silla, that was surrendered by her family. I admit I was confused as to why anyone would let such a sweet lab go. I didn’t know the family, but I do know they didn’t make the choice to rehome their dog lightly.
From what I do know, they lived on a farm and adopted two new herding breed dogs. The two new dogs did not get along with Silla and fights broke out. They felt that giving Silla a quiet home to retire in was in her best interest. Again, I am not here to judge. Did they feel guilty? I’m not sure, but I can only imagine how difficult that decision was for them.
Rehoming a Dog Tips
So, let’s start by ensuring you are making the right decision to rehome your dog. Why have you decided you need to give your dog away?
Rehoming a Dog Because of Life Circumstances:
- I have become too sick to take care of my dog.
If your situation is temporary, can you find a friend or family member to help by taking your dog in for a few months until you get back on your feet? - I can no longer afford my dog because of job loss.
Same as above, see if someone will help you and your dog out until you find a new job. - I am moving to an apartment that does not allow dogs.
Find an apartment that does allow dogs. I’m sorry but this is one that you do have control over. I know sometimes it can be hard, but there are plenty of landlords that do allow dogs. - We just realized my child is allergic to dogs.
Are you certain it is the dog your kids are allergic too? Have you tried bathing your dog? Brushing him more often? Keeping the dog out of the areas your child sleeps and plays? - We just had a new baby and no longer have time for a dog.
A baby may keep you busy, but it has been proven that kids who grow up with a dog are healthier. Children that grow up with a dog learn responsibility and compassion for animals. You will make time for both baby and dog. Many activities you can do with your dog and child… go for walks or play ball in the backyard together. - I cannot afford my dogs health care, because of an illness or injury.
Talk to your vet about payment options or look into Care Credit. I understand the thought of spending hundreds or thousands on your dog is daunting… trust me I do, I’ve been there. And sometimes we have to make tough decisions, but there are options out there, you just need to find them. - I got a new job and no longer have time for a dog.
Consider doggy-daycare or a dog walker. You did make a commitment to your dog when you first adopted him. Do your best to make it work.
Rehoming a Dog Because of Behavior Issues:
- My dog has bitten a child.
I understand it is really scary if your rescue dog has bitten your child. This should never be taken lightly. But please look at the situation with a clear mind. Read Why Do Family Dogs Bite and make your decision from there. - My dog has bitten another dog.
If you adopted a new dog and he isn’t getting along with your other dog, then take a few steps back and start over. Read The Best Way to Introduce a Second Dog and see if you can fix the relationship. - My dog has severe separation anxiety and has destroyed our house.
What have you tried to help your dog with his anxiety? Please read Solutions for Separation Anxiety to see if there are steps you can take before giving up on him. - I just adopted this dog and he isn’t what I expected.
How long have you had the dog? Have you given her enough time to adjust? Did you know that it could take up to 3 months for a rescue dog to feel completely comfortable in her new home? If you are certain you adopted the wrong dog, talk the rescue or shelter you got the dog from. Many times, they will take the dog back if it just isn’t a good fit.
An important note about rehoming a dog that has bitten a child or dog. Please disclose this information before giving your dog away. No matter how desperate you are, do not allow another child to be bitten. Do you really want another family to go through what you have?
Where Can I Give My Dog Away
If you are certain rehoming your dog is the right decision, where and how should you give your dog away?
No matter which option you choose, it’s important to be honest about all your dog’s issues and health concerns. Finding someone that is prepared to take care of all of your dog’s quirks, big or small, is important… or else he will just end up being returned to you or worse, euthanized.
Option 1: Contact the Rescue You Originally Adopted Your Dog From
If you adopted your dog from a shelter or rescue, start by asking them about taking the dog back. The rescue I volunteer for actually requires their adopters to surrender the dog back to them if needed at any time.
Some rescues will even post your dog on their website and let you keep him until you find a good home.
Option 2: Turn to Friends and Family for Help
I recommend you start by asking friends and family, even co-workers if they would be willing to take in your dog. This way you know the dog will be well taken care of.
Option 3: Post on Social Media
Posting a photo and your dog’s story on Facebook could be a great way to get the word out he needs a new home. I understand you may be afraid of being judged by your peers, but you’d be surprised how fast you could rehome a dog using social media.
Option 4: Ask Your Veterinarian
Your vet may have adoption resources you could turn to, or maybe even know someone looking to adopt a new dog.
Option 5: Rehoming a Dog on Adopt-a-Pet Website
Adopt-a-Pet is a well-known online adoption website, and they have a rehoming listing service too! Adopt a pet makes it easy to list by simply filling out the form online and uploading pictures. Rehome at Adopt-a-Pet also has a ton of resources for you to try and keep your dog!
Option 6: Rehoming a Dog on Craigslist
I love Craigslist, I use it to buy and sell everything from toys to furniture. But when it comes to dogs, it can be sketchy. Some very bad people lurk on the social selling site.
Let’s face it, we’ve all heard the horror stories of people getting scammed out of their houses, kidnapped or shot over a computer. And dogs being bought for reasons I’d rather not think of… bad reasons… for fighting and bait dogs.
There are also stories of puppy mills posting on Craigslist, so again, please do your research before buying or selling on this platform.
Now that I scared you, I have to admit something… we adopted our yellow lab Bear from Craigslist. Yup, that’s right we adopted an 18-month-old pure breed English Yellow Lab on Craigslist! We got lucky, the family rehoming him got lucky.
Bear grew much larger than the family thought he would… at a whopping 97 lbs, he was too big to live in a small trailer home with no yard. Plus, Bears’ previous owner was aging, had bad knees and couldn’t walk him. He was bursting at the seams with built up energy and was not a happy dog.
She realized this and came to the difficult conclusion that they needed to rehome Bear. She cried as we packed Bear’s belongings into our car, so I knew she cared very much for him and I am sure she felt guilty for letting him go.
A happy ending can happen, but you need to do your homework. Ask a lot of questions and meet the family before agreeing they can adopt your dog. Ask for a rehoming fee to ensure the new family is serious.
Option 7: Contact Your Local Humane Society or Shelter
I’d say this should be your last resort. Dogs become very stressed when dropped off at a shelter. A shelter can be a scary place for any animal. And you have no idea how long he could end up staying there.
Call ahead and find out the shelters process of surrendering a dog. DO NOT just drop a dog off at the back door! Please no matter how desperate you are, this is not the right way to handle rehoming a dog.
The more information the shelter has about your dog before rehoming, the less stress for the dog, and the better chance he has for being readopted.
Please make sure you find a no-kill shelter. Unless your dog is truly aggressive, and you’ve tried everything… does he really deserve to be euthanized?
Over to you… please share your story in the comments below. I created the Rescue Dogs 101 community so we can support each other in times of need. It could help someone else in the same situation. You may be feeling alone right now, having to rehome your dog is not an easy decision, but please take comfort in knowing you are not alone! I am here for you.
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Hello,
We are at the stage of making a final decision about rehoming our 4 month old mix puppy. I know this seems young to already consider rehoming, but he has displayed some concerning behaviour. We have hired a trainer and behaviourist to asses him and both have suggested that he is not the right fit for our family and that we should consider rehoming him. Our trainer said he has extreme high stress and the behaviourist said he has anxiety and fear aggression. I was absolutely devastated to hear this news. I truly did not expect it. We have never had dogs, so we did not know what behaviour was/wasn’t normal for a puppy. I am a home mom and have been the main caregiver for our pup. The reason we would even consider this is that we’re concerned for the safety of our 5 year old daughter. He has come close to hurting her had I not been there to intervene. He will be a medium-large dog, he’s already taller than my daughter when he jumps up. And he’s so strong I can barely hold him back when he goes for something. He doesn’t just nip – he growls and lunges at times, and the resource guarding is really bad. He is anxious of people and other dogs, loud noises, being left alone, new places. I’ve been at my wits end with how much management I have to do for his behaviour. I can’t leave him alone with my kid, and he sometimes seems like he wants to hurt us. I don’t understand it because he seems so normal a lot of the time. But then all of a sudden he’ll go for mostly my husband or daughter with what seems like the intent to injure. We have him on a leash at all times because I have to be able to hold him back from my kid or anyone else. We’ve also had him looked at by the vet and she said he is physically fine, but noticed the issues right away and suggested a behaviourist. Honestly it’s been a real challenge for us as a family. But I thought in time he might chill out. I really do love him and I breaks my heart to pieces to even consider giving him away. If it was just me and my husband I’d not even consider it, but the professionals say that it might just be a matter of time before there’s an incident with our kid. They said it’s most likely a genetic thing and that it could take a long time to change. The truth is I’m so exhausted from the current situation that I can’t imagine having to add anything more than what I’m already doing with him. And my poor kid. I’ve been focusing so much on managing puppy that she’s been neglected. There’s so much stress in the house too from all of this, for sure it’s affecting our wellbeing.
It’s so hard because like I said we have some really good moments with him. He seems like a normal pup! And I’ve bonded with him and so has my daughter. She’s even helped with training him to sit and lay down and she really cares for him. But those times when he’s gone for her have been scary. And I’m so worried about the big ‘what if’. The risk just seems too high. But I can’t shake the feeling like what if they’re wrong, what if he’s normal and will grow out of it. Maybe I’m just in denial and just can’t come to terms with the truth. Every time I think of giving him away I just break down and cry because I just feel so heartbroken about it. But then I think of how big he’s going to get in a short amount of time and I won’t be able to hold him back.
I suggested to my husband that we get him assessed again by another behaviourist. But he thinks what we’ve heard is enough. I’m having a really hard time accepting it. Especially since he’s so young.
When puppy is ‘normal’ which is honestly most of the day I think how can anything be wrong with him? He’s a normal puppy. But then yesterday out of the blue he snarled at me and lunged. It was scary. Had my husband not been holding the leash I fear he would have attacked. We have gotten scrapes from his teeth but have managed not to get an actual bite down.
I’m just so sad and worried I’m about making the wrong choice. The anxiety I’ve been feeling about this is heavy. We absolutely do not want to bring him to a shelter. I think it would only make his anxiety worse.
I’m just so torn. But also I guess I know what we must do. It’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep for thinking of it, so I’m mostly writing this in case someone else is going through a similar thing.
Know you are not alone.
This is hard.
Aggressive behavior is very unusual for a young puppy. If the trainer/behaviorists has assessed the puppy and has come to the conclusion it could be inherited, then I’d say he is not the right puppy for you. You need an easy dog for a first time owner. As hard as it feels now, you all be better off making the decision now. He is young enough that an experienced dog trainer can rehabilitate the dog. There is no reason for you to put your family at risk. Rehoming sounds like the right choice. This doesn’t mean you can’t adopt another dog, a dog that is a better fit.
Hi I paid for my dog, rehoming him at 10mths old. After arriving home with him I realised he had never been up/down stairs. He soon learned as I live upstairs flat. No problem. Biggest problem he had never been socialised, spent every day in a garden chasing a ball. I was lucky if he covered 700yds a day, he was frightened, jumping up at people and barking. I put him in kennels as a trial run after 3 week's, he was ok, but not when he came out. Four days later I had him taken away to a charity that looks after animals till rehoming. I miss him terribly every day, keep in touch with the charity. He is still there with them sorting put his issues. I really want him back before rehoming, can I do that. I miss him so.much. The previous owner's did him a disservice by not allowing him to explore the world outside. I have made matters worse by giving him up 2 week's ago. Please advise.
Like everyone else I fear judgment. I’m a single mom of a special needs boy, and under high amounts of stress and have been advised by doctors to lower it as much as possible for my own health needs. Anyways, my son is about to have another major surgery and I told him I’d get him a dog for his birthday/surgery because this was his third time going under and I felt that needed something big. I also felt a dog would be good for us both. I’ve had to regime a dog once before and never wanted to do that again so I did a lot of research on breeds and decided I wanted a lab, 2 years old or older etc. Because I grew up with them and they are supposed to be great for families.
I took a chance and applied on a lab that was said to be good with children, 1 years old, from an agency I’d never heard of, and when I got there unfortunately there were some red flags (turns out she was only 4 months old, and they didn’t actually know if she was good with kids). She seemed really calm and sweet and I honestly felt pressured by them to get her at the time, so I went for it…. I wish I had thought about it more.
Three months later, she’s destroyed my back yard, my furniture, drawn blood from my child multiple times, won’t stop biting me as well. I’ve talked to the vet multiple times, her trainer, other pet friends, I’ve followed all the advice I possibly can and I think I’m ready to waive the white flag. I take her on walks twice a day, do enrichment activities, training with treats, give her toys/Yelp/use spray when she bites and nothing works. She did stop peeing on furniture and mostly stopped digging holes, but the stress from how high energy she is along with my inability to get her to quit biting is beyond me. I’ve had two labs as well as other breeds and I’ve never had this issue. I think I’m finally at the point where I realize she needs someone who will run her every day, train her more than me, has other dogs, or maybe a farm. I still feel horrible because I got really attached and so did my kiddo… but I know I did everything possible, even tried three different supplements with her (vet approved), and I just think I’m the wrong match for her.
Hi! I’ve had my German shepherd mix dog for about 5 months now (since she was 3 months old) and unfortunately I’m getting to the point of considering rehoming her. She is extremely anxious and has fear aggression. She’s afraid of all strangers and barks/lunges at them when the walk by. I’ve tried many different techniques to reroute this behavior and it’s mostly worked but she still does not like strangers. She is able to go to the dog park but whenever she plays with another dog her fur is standing up the whole time. She is also territorial so I can’t have people over. She freaks out when someone new enters the home and she’s nipped at friends. I’ve seen multiple trainers and have tried so many different things to help her. She is currently on Prozac and also has CBD chews I give her. We recently moved to a new state a month ago so I understand she is going through an adjustment period, but her anxiety has snowballed and I am at the end of my rope. I am so stressed out with her idk how much more I can help her. She gets three walks a day and so many toys/chewies/and attention. I also take her to daycare twice a week since I’m in grad school. Before we moved I used to take her to a different daycare 4 times a week and she did great! She would play with all the dogs and she loved the workers. However at this new daycare she has gotten so anxious when I drop her off. The other day when I dropped her off she was so overwhelming anxious she went into a frenzy jumping on me and she bit me multiple times. She ripped holes in my pants and bruised me as well as created a large blood blister on my arm. She even wouldn’t let go of my hand and one of the daycare workers had to come pull her off me. I was so shocked and hurt by this behavior. Her anxiety being in this new place has been making me depressed and I don’t know how to calm her down. After her attacking me at daycare I’ve lost trust in her and feel like our relationship isn’t the same. I’m so upset with how things turned out and I honestly never ever thought I’d be someone who would rehome their dog. I love her so much and she’s such a sweetie with me but I can’t have her around strangers and I’m afraid of having friends over. If she’s able to bite me I don’t doubt she’d bite a stranger out of fear. I just feel so alone in all this and I don’t think I could ever get over having to rehome her if that’s what it came to. I’ve spent so much money on trainers and different collars/leashes and toys to distract her but I don’t know how much more I can invest into this. I am a grad student and I need to also focus on my life but I feel like I spend so much of my time worrying about her or thinking about how I need to get home ASAP everyday to take care of her. She has become more of a burden than a companion at this point and I am running out of energy and options.
We adopted a mixed breed from our rescue shelter. He's only 1 year old and we've only had him for two months. But I think he wasn't a good fit for our family but I can't tell if I'm quitting on him or if he really just needs a different family with a different life style. I also can't tell if we're not dog people or if he wasn't a good match. He's very energetic and has anxiety issues. He's knocked my dad over from jumping on him, and accidentally cut my mom's nose from jumping up to her as well. I'm the main person that has to take care of him, but I'm still in school and it's my senior year. I'm involved in a lot of extra curriculars, have my own business, and of course need to study. School has only been in for a month, but I'm already coming home really late and my parents aren't in any real position to exercise him for me. On top of that, I'm supposed to move out with him and I don't think his anxiety can handle that because I'll be in college and I'll probably have to move a lot or have a lot of schedule changes.
I originally wanted a service dog and that's what brought us here, but we were told he wouldn't be able to become a service dog due to his reactivity and anxiety issues. I'm concerned about my own mental health as well because I have depression and PTSD and they have gotten much worse since getting him. I think he's also becoming more and more depressed and I expect to become much busier so I don't think he'll be receiving the care he truly needs. I can't tell if I'm just being a quitter or if my concerns are warranted.
I just feel so bad about rehoming him because he's bonded so closely with my family and I and I feel awful about taking him back.
You are not being a quitter… you are being an adult, making the tough decision. From what you have told me here, I agree he would be better off in a home that can spend time training him and working through his issues. You need to think about your mental health too, if he was suppose to be a service dog for you, and you got the opposite, it’s time to move on. I know it’s difficult, but it will be best for both of you. You are so young and have a life time ahead of you, when your life settles down a little bit, then you can look for another dog. Focus on yourself right now.
I have 2 poodles, 1 miniature and 1 toy. I adopted the miniature from a shelter when she was 3 years old. I quickly learned she had some anxiety issues as she is a nervous wreck when she goes on walks. She is constantly watching her surroundings and the moment she sees another dog, she goes absolutely berserk, barking relentlessly until the dog is completely out of sight.
I have now had her for 6 years, so she is over 9 years old. She has gotten worse with time and even once bit my 1 year old son on the nose after he grabbed her leg. Since she's a small dog and doesn't actually have all of her teeth anymore, it just left a small mark on his nose, but since then I've felt myself resenting her. Everytime she barks, I can feel my blood pressure spike. I'm frustrated that every time I want to take my son and dogs on a walk to relax, it ends up being a stressful, anxiety inducing experience because of her relentless barking.
Apart from her barking at other dogs, she is a sweetheart. She loves adults, loves to cuddle, but at the end of the day she causes more stress than the happiness I feel from her presence and I feel terrible admitting that!!
We are very outdoorsy people who enjoy hiking, camping, etc but feel as though we can't do all of the things we want to because she is unhappy when she's outside.
Even with all of the stress she causes, the thought of rehoming her still induces so much guilt. I wonder if she would feel betrayed, or if our other dog would miss her or vice versa.
Very conflicted on what I should do with her. Not sure if I should suck it up and hope I won't be as bothered by it the older she gets, or prioritize my mental well being by making life easier for me in this moment. 🙁
Have you consulted a trainer? Read How to Find the Perfect Dog Trainer I understand the anxiety, but it sounds like with some training she could get better. Of course your number one priority is you and your family.
Hi Debi,
After reading your article I would much appreciate some advice if you have the time. We have a dog we adopted 6 years ago, she is great with all of our animals (cats, rabbits, chickens). She was also great with any other dog or human we've ever introduced her too. She loves playing with other dogs.
So two years ago we adopted another dog from the pound to be her buddy. All was good for the first 18 months. In January a neighbor dog came on our property and started trouble. There was a tussle with all three dogs and by the time we got everyone broke up my husband had bites and had to go to the hospital. There were two kids there the neighbors son and my 18mo old neither were hurt. This incident seemed to trigger something as we've had quite a few incidents since both between our two dogs and with our cat. We have several cats but he just goes after the one cat. She's at the vet now under surgery after an incident last night. We are looking into training and behavioral therapy. He does have anxiety. That said I don't know if my cat will ever feel safe in the house with him. Also after a handful of incidents between the dogs and my one cat I don't feel like the house is safe anymore. I also have a 2 yr old I need to keep safe. One of the incidents with the dogs was when my dominant dog gave my daughter her toy, my daughter gave the toy to our newer dog and that started a bad fight with her right there. We are going to do the training regardless but are at the point we are thinking we have to rehome our dog and I'm just a mess thinking about it. I also don't know how I will find a home for him with no other animals. He's a great dog, loving, eager to please, loves to play fetch and go for walks but I just don't know if we can make this a safe home again for everyone.
Please no judgment this is already so hard.
We’ve had our German shepherd for 2 years now, we’ve had her since she was 8 weeks old. My partner and I love her to bits and she’s a great dog but our living situation has changed in a way we didn’t expect before getting her. We’ve just moved into a new house we’ve built (4months now) & have both started new jobs that require us to work full days so we can’t always be around to supervise her. We’ve trialed her in the new house but some of her bad habits still remain, she is still destructive. We don’t have much furniture right now bc we’ve just moved in but so far shes chewed up things like door mats our laundry etc. We’ll be getting a new expensive couch very soon and I know 100% she will ruin in. She will, there’s no way around it, she’s a dog that’s what they do they chew things. She’s an inside/outside dog but our outside is still currently under landscape construction and regardless we can’t keep her out there all day everyday especially bc this house is small. I’m nervous about buying furniture/nice/expensive things for our new house bc I know they won’t last, we’ve payed A LOT for our house & the landscaping in our backyard and I know she will find a way to ruin something.. We don’t have the funds to just keep replacing couches or rugs or redoing the backyard. She gets walked 3 times a day, rotates/new toys, training and still has this habit, we’ve taken her to professional training but it hasn’t helped. I feel horrible even writing this and idk how I’m coming across but we’ve just spent so much money on this house and I don’t want to sound heartless but the house out-ways her. My sanity and bank account come first.. We didn’t plan on building a house but our lifestyle changed and we had to make decisions that are beneficial for us long term.. on the other hand though, am I selfish for wanting to keep her when I know she would be just as happy with someone else? I don’t know. Everyone’s situation is different and this isn’t a topic I can talk about to anyone I know.. I feel so heartless and horrible for saying I need to rehome my dog because she will destroy my couch and my home. My partner will literally loose his mind if she destroys something again especially the new couch!! He’s been adamant about rehoming her for a while now even before we moved in because he knew she would continue this behaviour but I wanted to at least see if it could work but now it’s clear that it won’t… I feel so guilty and pathetic.
No judgement here. German Shepherds are a working breed dog, they need more than the average dog. More physical and even more important, mental exercise. They need a job. If you decide to keep her, I recommend researching more specific breed information and how you can help her. If you rehome her make sure to research whomever adopts her, or find a GSD rescue in your area that can help rehome her for you.
I always go back and reread this post to help me ease the guilt and pain I have with making the decision of rehoming our heeler/border collie mix Mabel that we adopted from our local humane society in Aug of 2019. Similar to Ellie’s post, they represented her as child and dog friendly however this was not the case. We went through training with the humane society within a month of adopting her to build connection with her and confidence which did help some but did not stop her from going after may parents beagle mix when my fiancé and I would visit them. However during the pandemic we worked on some more training and believed things were getting better so we got a goldendoodle puppy from a family member. Things were fine for a while until we moved out of our apartment to a bigger house and yard where reactivity started occurring with Mabel going after Sasha (the golden). We started back Mabel’s CBD dosage again after not needing them for a while for her anxiety however while on a trip Mabel went after my parents beagle mix again and drew blood for the first time ever. We went to a behavioral modification trainer and worked with her for 5 sessions to work on basic obedience and understanding Mabel’s very small signals she gives before reaction and this helped manage her attacks by alot and again things were going great until she nipped my 18 month old nephew in the face but luckily didn’t draw blood and only made a small scratch this was even when i was watching the situation like a hawk but still missed her quick signal. Since that time a few months ago a began to worry how I was going to handle continuing to behavioral manage Mabel and watch a baby/toddler when my fiancé and i start trying after we get married in 8 months. She does great with my 6yr old niece due to me explaining that Mabel sometimes needs her space and showing her some signals that a 6yr old could understand however anything age less than that causes Mabel stress and anxiety due to the chaos. We have had to make the unbearable decision to find a home where she is the only dog and has school age kids that understands her space.
Hi there, thanks for your post. I have had my rescue for almost eight months. We have only been able to keep him this long thanks to home office, because otherwise we would've had to give him up right away. He was advertised as a dog that loves other dogs and loves being outside/going to the office. While he does love being outside, he has extreme anxiety. We had to teach him how to walk (all he knew was extreme pulling) and we had to slowly get him used to his surroundings. However, he is still high anxiety whenever we change the walk path up and he cries when we stop walking. He also goes off like the tazmanian devil whenever he sees a dog, and this is a very dog friendly city.
I love him so much and I never thought I would be the one to give my fur baby away, but I've developed depression and anxiety symptoms from being cooped up in the house and basically putting my needs to the side. I dreamed of having a dog I could take anywhere, but hikes with him are often more stresful than not, and forget about city adventures or anywhere where there might be dogs, My boyfriend and I are in our 20s but are living like inactive retirees. In 8 months we have been out together once, when we were able to find a sitter and train our dog with her. If we had chosen this, it would be a different story, But we were completely lied to by the woman that had him before. It makes me so angry because he's a total sweetheart and I love him, but I fear we can't give him the stability he needs to be able to manage his anxiety and be a happy dog. We want to move to another, more active part of the city and we worry that the move we so desperately need (we live in a pretty sad, desolate part of town currently) will make his life even more stressful and by extension, ours.
I dream of a life for him in a house with a yard with a family that's stable and not going anywhere (we have dreams of possibly living abroad). But it pains my heart to have to accept that someone else might be able to care for him better. In these past 8 months we've gone through three trainers, dozens of online guides, and chemotherapy for a tumor we worryingly found on him. Unfortunately it is a choice between keeping him, and keeping any semblance of a healthy life for myself and my partner. Since I cannot continue breaking down in anxiety ever week (and I don't want the dog feeling resented), I am slowly coming to the painful decision to rehome him. I'm crying everyday and trying to deal with the pain, anger, and guilt.
I’m so sorry for your pain Ellie. You have to make your own health first priority. Maybe this dog isn’t the right fit for your lifestyle right now, maybe finding a home outside of the city life would be less stressful for him too? I know it’s hard. But if you look at it from his perspective, is keeping him in your home making him happy? Decide what will make the best life for him and yourself.
Ellie, I understand your struggle with your pup being advertised as a family dog with kids and other dogs. If you look at my post above it is a highly similar situation. My fiance and I agreed if we would have know previously of her behaviors and anxiety we would have looked elsewhere, however we did not know and ended up falling in love with a dog that had a lot of anxiety that needed rehabilitation more than what my fiance and I could afford (between a wedding, me being a teacher, and him already working his butt off to support us). We did what we could with behavior modified trainings but came to the painful conclusion that she is just not fit for the future we want and that is unfair to her.